How to Make Friends as an Adult
Maya Johnson
Pulse Team
There's a quiet epidemic happening in adult life that nobody talks about at dinner parties: making new friends feels nearly impossible after your mid-twenties. The structures that naturally created friendships — school, college dorms, shared extracurriculars — disappear, and nothing replaces them.
Research from the Survey Center on American Life found that the number of Americans with no close friends has quadrupled since 1990. It's not that we don't want friends. It's that the systems that once facilitated friendship have eroded.
Why It's So Hard
Sociologist Rebecca Adams identified three conditions necessary for friendship formation: proximity, repeated unplanned interactions, and a setting that encourages vulnerability. College provided all three effortlessly. Adult life provides none.
What Actually Works
The solution is to recreate those conditions intentionally. Join a recurring group activity — a running club, a pottery class, a volunteer commitment. Show up consistently. Be willing to be the one who suggests grabbing coffee afterward. That's essentially what Pulse does: it creates the conditions for friendship to happen naturally.
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